How to Embrace the Hate

Ok so this is not a post I really wanted to ever have to write but inevitably here we are.

The internet is a very big and un-policed place, a platform for people to share nice things and horrible things wherever they want and however they want and whenever they want. It’s pretty scary when you realise this.

I shared a video about single parenting (this was requested) with one of the big family companies in the UK. Having just sent them the raw footage weeks ago last night I made the terrible mistake of looking for it on social media after a friend had seen it. With their 304k following on social media the video has been viewed more than 100,000 times and apparently most of those people have an opinion about my views on being a single parent (and not a nice one).

So I read some (not all) of the comments last night and led in bed in a state of complete shock and upset, all the usual questions running through my mind ‘who do I try and help’ ‘why do i put myself in the firing line for this’ ‘why can’t I just be understood’ anyway after a phone call with my sister (at midnight) that brought me back to reality it made me realise that actually there are just some people that are really negative and miserable.

Every single one of us will have something going on in our lives that is worthy of being miserable about, whether it’s money, relationships, work or family there will be something for everyone. The big factor is how you react to this:

  1. You can be angry and bitter
  2. You can be sad and miserable
  3. You can be jealous and resentful
  4. Or…you can just accept it, make a plan to change it and try to focus on the positives (there are always some)

Sadly it seems that the great majority of people in the world opt for 1,2 and 3. This is a sad but a fact of life. How we react to a given situation can be down to how we were raised, how we’ve been taught to cope with things, the people around us influencing us and our own personality and outlook on life.

I am forever a ‘glass half full’ kind of person (not always the best mentality especially when running a business) but still I wouldn’t change it. having been through a fair few awful things in life I have learnt to take the positive out of every situation and focus on that. It’s just who I am and what I’ve learnt to do!

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What I have tried to focus on after reading all of these negative and nasty comments is that there is a reason that people react the way they do, and that not everyone is a ‘glass half full’ person like me. Being positive and upbeat is hard, being miserable and living in a pity party is easy, blaming someone else is easy and making yourself feeling better by attacking other people is self gratifying if you are that kind of person.

To just talk about the post itself: I highlighted how long I had been a single parent for (5 years) explained that I had been very embarrassed at the start not wearing my ring and being labeled as ‘divorced’. I focused on the positives that I had time to focus on things I wanted for myself while Arabella was with her dad. I then talked about why I thought it was something to be really proud of if you were managing as a single parent and that even though it’s hard there are positives to focus on.

However positive you are people will try and bring you down, knock you off your cloud of happiness so you can fall back in to the pity pit with them but like I mentioned earlier in any given situation it’s how you react to it. I have decided to take a step back (not to ever look again) and accept that some people are just not capable of seeing the positives, this doesn’t mean they are bad people they are just mis-educated people that either don’t want to see the positive, don’t want to accept where they are in life or just find it easier attacking other people and taking no responsibility for anything that has happened to them. With this in mind I feel sad for them, living an angry life is not enjoyable and will also influence the things that continue to happen.

To End…. Be kind, be positive and always remember that everyone has a reason to behave the way they do (whether it be good or bad) so just smile and scroll on.

Enjoy and thanks for reading.

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