Spots the Lowdown

I’m sure I’ve spent most if not all of my life battling with spots. Whether it be a pesky blackhead or a full blown mountain that pops up the morning of a massive meeting there’s always something lingering round. I don’t know about the rest of you but I was told by ‘mums’ before I became one that pregnancy would be my time to shine, my skin would glow, my spots would clear up and I would come out of it with balanced hormones and an oil free T zone.

…I want a refund. My spots got so bad I could double up my face as a dot to dot for anyone willing to play, I felt like utter crap for 8.5 of the 9 months (and that half a month was made up of sporadic days when I could basically stomach something or make it out the house without collapsing by the front door in a heap because I was so tired). So pregnancy wasn’t my cure and still at the age of 32 I am faced (literally) with the most horrendous spots that come from nowhere with no pattern and have slowly become immune to every spot remedy I have googled!

I’m sure like me you all got lured in to the Clearasil adverts in the 90’s with those highly attractive girls with bare spot faces (bitches) and then went out to be ripped off for this this magical remedy only to find that 1. It made it worse 2. It made no difference or 3. Your bastard spots became immune to it after a week of daily cleanse/blah blah rituals.

I am (not sure whether this is ok to admit to online) in no way girly, I don’t have any kind of facial morning and evening routine and only moisturise when I remember with coconut oil which I swear by for that purpose. My face potion/lotion collection doesn’t even exist. I wash my face with water, I regularly go to bed without taking my makeup off, don’t change my pillow case the recommended 3 thousand times per year you are apparently supposed to, to stop build up and am generally very lazy with my skin/pores (whatever all the terms are). The irony of it being that I will still get patches in the month (tends to be a week at a time) where my skin is absolutely fine.

When it comes to spot treatments I have tried and tested:

Tea tree oil – stings like a bitch and you are left feeling conscious you smell like a pharmacy as you go about your daily tasks, this worked on minor spots but had no impact on the horrendous chin covering ones.

Toothpaste – I’m still quite sure this one was a joke! It made absolutely no difference for me at all other than going to bed smelling like a piece of chewing gum, and waking up with a crusty face and a pillow with what looked like dried dribble (could well be a bit of both!)

Sudocreme- I can see the logic here but cannot get over the highly embarrassing instances where I finished for the day, settled in to my pyjamas and smeared it all over my face only for someone to turn up unannounced or want to do a late night facetime with me whilst I look like I’ve let my five year old turn me in to a really shit ghost with face paint.  A few times it did actually help with the spots but on the whole I was just a massive inconvenience wondering round looking like a giant marshmallow.

Plasters – again another one which makes perfect sense. Give a bad spot a good squeeze then cover it with a plaster to draw any more rubbish out. It did have an impact on the spots but instead of looking like a marshmallow I just looked like a really white girl trying to impersonate Nelly with his facial plasters, that or like I was trying to cover up a shaving cut (which as a girl does not look great).

The only remedy which I have tried and tested and had some joy with is lemon juice. I was a bit sceptical when I read about this one but what’s another night looking like a twat If I can keep my face spot free.

Squeeze a lemon and then with a clean finger rub the juice on the worst spots that really need to be gone asap. Admittedly you smell a bit lemony, but for me that wasn’t that much of an issue as I like the smell. Leave it overnight and in the morning you’re not presented with a ‘dribble pillow’ a plaster stuck in your hair or a mark on your fake tan where a strong spot treatment has basically burned your tan off overnight. This is now my go to and I have avoided a fair few breakouts by catching it early with lemon juice. Give it a go and let me know what you think! (and obviously feel free to share any of the weird and wonderful things you have tried)