Riding the Lows

Ok so I posted on Instagram last week sharing my frustrations with the lack of time in my life, the amount of pressure and the never ending stream of guilt I live with.

I know that on the whole Instagram is a place for over edited, happy, carefree and unrealistic images (which most of the time I keep up with) but I also believe that when a ‘down day’ comes along why can’t that be shared too (we are all human after all).

Riding the lows 😌 My personality is such that though I reach ridiculous motivational highs I also hit some serious lows. Poor little A had quite a high temperature last night which really worried me, I managed to reduce it with some trusty calpol but I ended up laying in bed having one of those ‘woe is me sessions’ afterwards with the usual culprits rearing their ugly heads ‘I’m a terrible mum for working so much’ ‘the house isn’t clean enough’ ‘I don’t post enough on my story’ ‘there are so many messages I haven’t responded to’ and honestly feeling jealous of all the accounts I follow that can put all of their time in to creativity and social media. It’s not like me to be jealous I love to celebrate my insta friends but last night I found myself staring at the ceiling feeling jealous and frustrated. Being a working mum is such a hard juggling act and keeping the cogs of daily life well oiled is key, one thing fails and bam the whole ship is sinking. I’m going to spend a bit of time this weekend really prioritising everything (getting the house really straight) and try to stop keeping up with the Joneses as actually what everyone else is doing doesn’t matter it’s what we are doing that does. Feeling much better after a good night sleep and looking forwards to a day at home tomorrow to get my ‘sh1t’ together xxx

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After sharing this post (above) my inbox went crazy and there were so many women thanking me for finally sharing something that they could directly relate to and asking for advice. With little enough time in my possession I thought I would share this further by writing a blog post. Ironically i’ve done this in the midst of one of my down days.

I am finally starting to see a pattern to when these days happen now which is good and bad because I now almost preempt them. Imagine someone saying that you would get to a Thursday every week and you would have a panic attack, you would spend from Sunday to Tuesday worrying (well I would anyway).

Sunday: We organise, we do things that make us happy and we have time away from the routine of the week.

Monday: Beginning of the week, an easy day to keep productivity high feeling fresh after the weekend.

Tuesday: Tuesday is that day that isn’t really anything, normally still quite productive.

Wednesday: Starting to feel a bit tired? but upbeat because it’s #humpday and all that jazz.

Thursday: Exhaustion kicks in and though normally a pretty laid back person I could literally scream at someone for standing too close to me in a queue

Friday: Somehow though physically and mentally exhausted we always manage to get through a Friday, perhaps much like the carrot on a string incentive, Saturday is dangled with it’s promises of a later start, less demands and time to just potter.

I’m now starting to realise that Thursday is pretty much always my trigger day, Thursday is the day I start to nit pick every single thing that isn’t perfect, anxiety and self doubt start to creep in and i’m rolling that ever growing snowball of negativity in to Friday when honestly most weeks I feel like I can’t get up in the morning to face the day.

The big question that i still haven’t answered is how do you move through it:

Ok so as today has progressed (It’s Thursday) my temper has gotten shorter and my mood has got lower. I sat on the sofa while Arabella was eating her supper and beat myself up about how much cleaner the house could be, how much i need to finish painting Arabells’s bedroom door, how the bins are overflowing and need emptying.

I stop myself in my tracks and take five really deep breaths, slow and calm and always breathing out for longer than in. Then I focused on what small things I could do to make me feel more in control of my life. For me cleanliness and tidiness are huge things. So i got off my bum, emptied the hoover and blitzed the house (nothing too crazy) but just a hoover, clean worktops and straighten sofas and beds.

The next thing is to plan something that I can do that I really enjoy. Don’t judge me on this one but I LOVE watching Suits (the TV show on Netflix) so I schedule that in to my evening and make sure it happens, even if it’s just 30 minutes.

Do I feel clean and together? if I don’t i’ll take a shower and refresh my body (somehow a shower or bath makes you feel like a whole new person, perhaps like a mini christening).

Think ahead to tomorrow, more often than not I feel quite overwhelmed about what is happening the next day so by facing that and looking t what can be done in advance to make the day easier, whether it’s making packed lunches, laying out an outfit ready or packing everything you will need ready and leaving it by the door. This on really helps me feel like i can cope with whats to come.

The last thing that is really important to do is actually sit down and appreciate how much i have actually achieved this week. This doesn’t have to be huge things and will obviously be different for everyone.

If this helps just one person I’ve done my job so hopefully it does. To recap:

JO'S BOOM CYCLE (1)

I hope this helps in some small way, I would love to know you you all get through your low days too!

Love as Always

Georgie x

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The Life changing magic of not giving a Fu*k

This book was the most refreshing, honest and accurate book I have read in a long time. With regular appearances of the F* work (tut tut) and brutality from page one I loved every word.

It is basically a breakdown of life (which you inevitably transfer to your own life) and the things you should and shouldn’t give a fuck about. With some hilarious anecdotal stories and examples, it had me laughing and agreeing with a lot Sarah (the author) had to say.

The irony of the book which I’m sure people take in a light hearted manner given the title, is that it actually hit home hard about quite how many ‘Fucks I am giving away’ unwillingly (again another extract from the book).

 

I am one of those people that continually feels the need to please and impress people (for whatever reason) so I regularly find myself agreeing to do things I haven’t got time to do, helping people I don’t particularly like or buying things I don’t really need, so potentially the wake-up call I needed.

The book is broken down in to categories of things you might give a fuck about, it then expands on each category helping you understand how you can learn to say no to various people and situations without offending, letting people down or basically looking like an ‘asshole’ again a terrific quote from the book.

I found it very liberating and since reading it I have definitely stated to rein in the fucks I’m giving out and who they are given to so it has clearly made an impact on me and my never-ending need to please everyone including the postman (when he receives a card and a homemade mince pie every Christmas) (I know COMPLETELY unnecessary).

One I would highly recommend if you find your free time and weekends doing jobs for people that you really don’t want to do or donating towards Betty’s sponsored walk for three legged dogs (and yes there is a charity for this)

I rest my case, and I am also half way though reading the next book in the series ‘Get your Sh*t Together’ so will of course feedback once I have finished that!

Thanks for reading

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Spots the Lowdown

I’m sure I’ve spent most if not all of my life battling with spots. Whether it be a pesky blackhead or a full blown mountain that pops up the morning of a massive meeting there’s always something lingering round. I don’t know about the rest of you but I was told by ‘mums’ before I became one that pregnancy would be my time to shine, my skin would glow, my spots would clear up and I would come out of it with balanced hormones and an oil free T zone.

…I want a refund. My spots got so bad I could double up my face as a dot to dot for anyone willing to play, I felt like utter crap for 8.5 of the 9 months (and that half a month was made up of sporadic days when I could basically stomach something or make it out the house without collapsing by the front door in a heap because I was so tired). So pregnancy wasn’t my cure and still at the age of 32 I am faced (literally) with the most horrendous spots that come from nowhere with no pattern and have slowly become immune to every spot remedy I have googled!

I’m sure like me you all got lured in to the Clearasil adverts in the 90’s with those highly attractive girls with bare spot faces (bitches) and then went out to be ripped off for this this magical remedy only to find that 1. It made it worse 2. It made no difference or 3. Your bastard spots became immune to it after a week of daily cleanse/blah blah rituals.

I am (not sure whether this is ok to admit to online) in no way girly, I don’t have any kind of facial morning and evening routine and only moisturise when I remember with coconut oil which I swear by for that purpose. My face potion/lotion collection doesn’t even exist. I wash my face with water, I regularly go to bed without taking my makeup off, don’t change my pillow case the recommended 3 thousand times per year you are apparently supposed to, to stop build up and am generally very lazy with my skin/pores (whatever all the terms are). The irony of it being that I will still get patches in the month (tends to be a week at a time) where my skin is absolutely fine.

When it comes to spot treatments I have tried and tested:

Tea tree oil – stings like a bitch and you are left feeling conscious you smell like a pharmacy as you go about your daily tasks, this worked on minor spots but had no impact on the horrendous chin covering ones.

Toothpaste – I’m still quite sure this one was a joke! It made absolutely no difference for me at all other than going to bed smelling like a piece of chewing gum, and waking up with a crusty face and a pillow with what looked like dried dribble (could well be a bit of both!)

Sudocreme- I can see the logic here but cannot get over the highly embarrassing instances where I finished for the day, settled in to my pyjamas and smeared it all over my face only for someone to turn up unannounced or want to do a late night facetime with me whilst I look like I’ve let my five year old turn me in to a really shit ghost with face paint.  A few times it did actually help with the spots but on the whole I was just a massive inconvenience wondering round looking like a giant marshmallow.

Plasters – again another one which makes perfect sense. Give a bad spot a good squeeze then cover it with a plaster to draw any more rubbish out. It did have an impact on the spots but instead of looking like a marshmallow I just looked like a really white girl trying to impersonate Nelly with his facial plasters, that or like I was trying to cover up a shaving cut (which as a girl does not look great).

The only remedy which I have tried and tested and had some joy with is lemon juice. I was a bit sceptical when I read about this one but what’s another night looking like a twat If I can keep my face spot free.

Squeeze a lemon and then with a clean finger rub the juice on the worst spots that really need to be gone asap. Admittedly you smell a bit lemony, but for me that wasn’t that much of an issue as I like the smell. Leave it overnight and in the morning you’re not presented with a ‘dribble pillow’ a plaster stuck in your hair or a mark on your fake tan where a strong spot treatment has basically burned your tan off overnight. This is now my go to and I have avoided a fair few breakouts by catching it early with lemon juice. Give it a go and let me know what you think! (and obviously feel free to share any of the weird and wonderful things you have tried)

Panic at the Disco

No idea why I have named this blog what I have, I just thought it sounded catchy (it’s the marketer in me).
So this post is basically just a little bit of anxiety update, I don’t really talk as much about anxiety and the huge pain in my ass that is panic attacks, as much as I should. Potentially as I am becoming a lot better at handling them/it or because it’s an avoidance tactic to not even say the word (who knows).
So on the whole over the last six months I think I can say my anxiety has been better, I have probably had less than five panic attacks and I honestly think I am starting to just accept it as part of my life. I don’t think anxiety is something that comes and goes, I think that once your body has worked out that stress response you are stuck with it but I do think you can learn how to cope with it.
I remember my first panic attack, it was about three years ago and I honestly thought I was dying, I had never had one before, heart was racing, felt like I was going to simultaneously vomit and shit my self, pins and needles in my arms and legs (the lot, and yes a lot like how having a heart attack feels apparently) It came on for no reason and lasted about 20 minutes. I reacted so badly thinking there was something seriously wrong, I went to the doctor in an absolute state and insisted he checked me for everything (is that even possible).
I ended up going home with a prescription for Diazepam which truth be told was never going to solve the issue (it takes 20 minutes to kick in and a panic attack will rarely last over 20 minutes) great suggestion doc, I ended up taking half a tablet to see how I reacted, which apparently was to slur my words then pass out mid evening for the rest of the night on the sofa) not really the reaction I was after. Never the less I haven’t taken one since and they are most likely out of date now.
So basically at that point I realised that I was pretty much on my own with the panic attacks and there wasn’t going to be a medication option only a self help one. With a crippling phobia of being sick (emetophobia if you haven’t heard of it) the nausea involved with a panic attack is a HUGE problem for me and will make my panic 10x worse instantly, for the last 10 years I have been prescribed an anti-sickness drug called Buccastem (anti emetics) this I would take if I started to feel really bad, this was up until about a year ago when my side effects to taking that were that I would be really drowsy and basically go in to a coma when I slept (no alarms would wake me) so another medication that is really only used in an absolute emergency. So again back to square one. So here’s how they happen and how I deal with them:
‘I start to feel a bit odd, and my legs and arms go a bit weak and shaky’ Breathe and remember I am in control of my mind and body
‘My heart rate starts to pick up and I feel like I need to run as fast as I can (nowhere which is actually pretty funny)’ Start taking deep breaths, always making sure to breathe out for longer than I breathe in
‘My body temperature starts to rocket’ This is when I start taking clothes off and head for outside (still breathing properly)
‘I start to feel nauseous ad my chest and neck go tight’ Lie down on the floor in the cool with barely any clothes on (yes a hilarious sight if you are in public) and keep breathing
‘The next bits come in waves, heart rate goes mad, breathing goes mad and my body starts vigorously shaking (potentially because I’m in my underwear outside the back door) This is the point I normally try to speak to someone, having someone with me is the ideal situation but otherwise just calling someone works a treat. Sometimes just having someone at the end of the phone talking at you helps as a distraction. I cry, I wail, I moan and then all of a sudden everything slows down and within 10 minutes I am carrying on with my day a little shaken.
All I really try and focus on is breathing and remembering that ‘this will end’ I can’t stay on a panicked state for the rest of my life ‘it will end’.
My worst time of the day for this to strike is last thing at night or on waking in the morning so I am particularly mindful about keeping myself cool and calm in the morning (oversleeping is not a good situation to be in). I can’t give a magical solution (god I wish I could) but I guess I have just learnt to live with it, I have had them in public but they mainly happen at home a few days after I have been in a very stressful situation, it’s almost like my body saves up the anxiety in a little pot (I would like to think it’s called the anxiety pot) then one tiny addition and bam there’s the panic attack.

My only advice other than BREATHE is talk about it, talk to your friends let the know what’s going on, call them if it happens and most importantly DO NOT feel embarrassed, it’s a known fact that 1 in 4 adults will have an anxiety disorder in their lifetime.

I hope this in some way is helpful and of course if you have something to say or can relate pop a comment below.
Thanks for reading
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